Sleep

Sleep is a magical thing when you get it. I’ve always had sleep problems since I was a little girl. I would run into my moms room any chance I could get and sleep with her even though she would yell at me and not comfort me. It still helped to be near someone. I used to wake up when I was maybe 6 years old and see shadows on my closet from the window and trees and that would terrify me. I had such a hard time sleeping throughout my childhood that I would have to watch the same movies to go to sleep each night before midnight and be able to get up and function in the morning for school. I later learned this was related to anxiety. I started taking sleep medications from my mom since she had the same issue although she never helped me with it besides giving me pills. I suppose she didn’t know how to handle it herself. I went to college and took over the counter sleep aids that it would make me all groggy and have a hard time waking up that it affected me going to class. I used marijuana to help me sleep because besides the pills which I hated taking it was the only thing that worked so i used that more and more. This continued for years and years taking prescription sleep aids and smoking and always having a hard time with sleep & getting up for work. I think what finally helped was end of 2018 after an incredibly hard year I took a new job that allowed me to work 2nd shift. I worked 11:30-8pm and it was a god send. I didn’t have to worry about getting to bed by a certain time to get up at a certain time and could just wake up naturally then go workout and get ready for work. It was a dream schedule for me. It helped me stop taking sleep medications pretty much altogether and just use melatonin which never used to work for me. Now I work a normal 8-5 job most days and get up even earlier and get to bed by 10pm each night. I still use melatonin most nights and of course anxiety meds but my life is pretty stable nowadays although I still struggle at times. I ask people daily for work how they sleep and try to offer suggestions for poor sleep patterns. Sleep is so important and I really try to make sure I sleep well most nights so I can function even better.